Speaking of bad karma : the special case of the RV decorator in the US

I was very serious yesterday about (almost) everything.

But don't imagine I spend all my days praying hard, on one leg, on top of each mountain I cross here, while reciting mantras.

Actually I am very much into everyday life with my dogs, my cat, my parrot (who is still waiting for his CITES certificate to be able to arrive here - US Services please wake up !) and ... my son,  Noe, who is soon to arrive here for his holidays with me ( and  who is then to decide where he will be next September for his school return - here or in France - exciting !)

I am very much also in decorating.

I know many of you consider home decorating a sort of foolish and quite dumb thing,  mainly reserved to those rich "stay at home and get bored women" who spend their days "shopping for the latest trend -
"come on, zebra cushions ? no darling, that was last fall trend, this spring you HAVE to have Toile de Jouy, of course"-

That s not really the dicorating I am interested in.

I have been a professional decorator for several years in Paris, and have even been featured in several TV shows there,

but I worked not (only) on trends and fashion in home decorating

I worked mostly for the people who were my clients :
what did they need to live happy in their place, ?
what would suit their energy ?
what would make them comfortable and secure, and put joy in their life when they got home after work ?
what did they need to spent their week end together there with happiness for each member of the family.

To me, Home is important... it s a real base for the ;ind and the body, and I just love to help people who feel at loss when it comes to make their home confortable and fun.

and working as a decorator with clients, I have seen such incredible things...

A young couple desperate to have a child, and who had hanged in their living room above their sofa a huge painting of ... beheaded babies bodies, bathing in blood in red in black !

When I ask about this huge and terrifying painting
the husband got defensive "but it s a great painting from a French painter who got a prize at the Angouleme festival".
Sure. it was expensive, ad signed of a big name

But they both fell into deep silence when I asked them this simple question
"you look at dead babies on your wall every day in your living.
How do you think it makes your brain and you body feel ?
do you really think your body can relax, and feel trusting enough to welcome a baby in this world  ?"

Always remember that what you have around you is a DIRECT message to your body and brain.

Be careful with what you hang on your walls, what you choose as souvenir and  what objects you show... they are imprinting you, so get imprinted by joy and beauty, preferably ! Get rid of everything that is not a good "vib" for you, even if it s a gift or a souvenir. If it makes you sad or angry, or if it provokes any negative feeling : sell it, give it, trash it ! but keep only what makes you feel good or happy.

I will also always remember that middle aged lady who had turned in a real hoarder after her divorce, and with whom I have spent days , helping her to figure out how to... trash things.
For she was clinging to everything, with her brain still numb with the pain of her husband suddenly leaving
(that's what happens with sudden hoarding, by the way ; I spoke in a previous post of the limbic brain, the first part of the brain to develop that can be call the brain "of survival", for it is very basic and handle poor reflexion, and mostly two emotions : fear and agressivity,
Sometimes , with a shock in life - a death, a divorce, unemployment , or simply a situation that triggers in the person a feeing she is profoundly threatened - the limbic brain "takes control", and starts to behave in a way that for his (poor) thinking is 'survival"
Remember that real thinking, lucidity, common sense are all in the neo cortex

Limbic brain functions with very basic ideas and concept : always have food, dont let anyone get him, keep everything for you may need it someday etc...

And as long as the limbic brain is in control - because the stress is so high the person feels threaten in the most profound way -
the neo cortex is "put aside" on some subjects
and the limbic system works as n "emergency captain"
making often bad decisions
but sure that it s the best way to react for "survival'

This is why real hoarders, living in impossible conditions,  just don t see clearly their situation and can be incredible self liars, even confronted to truth told by their friends or parents ... They are, on this question, "thinking" with a brain in the state of a lizard feeling threatened and hiding under things, or keeping things for later, or preventing with things people from entering etc... The neo cortex is "turned off', and it s very difficult to have a rational and clever conversation with them as long as the limbic brain has not been calmed down.

(there are several attitudes of survival of th alembic brain  hidden behind the general word of hoarding, going from the fear to miss something very often to the idea that many objects can protect for external aggression - a good therapist must  be able to get down to that  "wrong equation" in the limbic brain, which is personal to everyone, and often relate to the family and personal story

Once the equation found and the fear discovered, it can be calmed down by "cleverly" addressing it (the therapist or the friend is essential there ; in many cases, when it s a recent thing, the hoarding phase can be closed by a friend , a spouse etc simply by finding how to control the fear when it comes back, instead of letting the stress build in till the limbic brain takes control)

By identifying what exactly is felt as a threat, the helper allows the hoarder to outgrow the stress, which shuts down the Limbic 'dictature' ,  and gives back to the neo cortex its normal role , and to the "temporary hoarder' his lucidity

 it s a bit different though with long time hoarders, and I will write about that one of theses day, for in France I have spent much time working on the subject and I am working since many years on a book on (partly) that subject.

Co;ing back to  this middle aged lady,
she had spent more than two years with her curtains closed in her living room, blocking all light and view from entering through her large beautiful windows on her garden... because it was his husband who used to take care of the garden and she could not stand to see it anymore.

What a delight whn we changed everything - not buying, just changing the place of things,  discarding the old ugly or unuseful, and when we opened the curtains on a cleaned garden !

she cried of happiness to be able to live with joy in her house again !

So, you see, with my clients, I did not talk much about "zebra trend" or how they should get a sofa "in the latest grey to be trendy"

I worked a lot on what they loved, what they wanted to do in their place, how they lived together as a couple or a family,
and helped them create their OWN perfect space.

And if they liked orange, at a time fashion has decided orange was not trendy anymore,
who was I to tell them no ?
I did work with their orange things ! and we did beautiful and happy homes !

All this introduction to say I love a beautiful home, I think it s essential to create happiness and comfort, and that I have spent MANY hours choosing my rv and it's color.

But  here is my point.

There must something wrong with the rv decorating designers in the US !

Is it bad karma ? Is it profound depression ?
I have no idea but, hell

It s all brown, and black, and geometrical, and dark, and sad in fact . 

And often also of the worst taste ! As soon as you spend over 150 grands on an RV, you get the worst of a what a Depressed Designer could think of after spending a week end in an old  Suite at Las Vegas Caesars Palace :
the shiny lamps in the ceiling,
the mirrors everywhere (yes, even on the ceiling over the bed AHHHHH horror !) 

the brown wood with the velvet chairs
and of course the ugly false marble.

Eurk....

Didn t any of you, Rv Guys,  take a train to a Homedeco Show ,
at least once since 1964,
to discover that there are other colors and other textiles than THAT

(Yes, this is the REAL 2014 textile of my chairs in my trailer - that s a punishment in itself, n est ce pas!)

So, you know what I did ? 

what I always do when I get to a place that is not my taste : I changed it. 

YES change !  

Dare to change what you don't like !

I see so many people living in a color or a setting they dont like - but never daring to change it because "they are afraid to make something wrong" !

Once I worked for a family whose living room had a nice view on Paris and a chimney, but whose sofa was curiously placed facing a wall and so close to the fire they never used it for they were too warm. 

On my first visit, before even having sold anything, I asked the owners their permission to make just a slight change - and I took the sofa and moved it in the middle of the room, facing the view on Paris, with the fire at a comfortable distance on the right

the couple was aghast to realize changing their life there was as simple as that !

And the mother then asked me that strange question 

"but, are n t you obliged to put sofa against a wall ?"

And when I asked her where she got this strange rule from, it turned out that the movers had set the sofa there, and when she had asked them if they could try another way, 

they had answered firmly that

"No, a sofa MUST ALWAYS be against a wall, you know"

(trust the movers to find a good way not to spend the end of their work day trying different setting for a client who is indecisive !)

And this family had spent YEARS like that, looking at their view of Paris with their neck and condemning the chimney for being too hot at their side !

Trust me on that : you are free to do what you feel the most at ease with 

in your own house

even if you have never seen it anywhere else !

For example, because of my brocken back, I almost always draw laying on my back, on my sofa, in a strange position 

(a bit like Frieda Kahlo, whose paintings I don t really like by the way... But I do think of her when I draw with my head on my pillow and my arms strangely bent to keep my paper high over my nose!).

Well, my living room is organized accordingly. My art stuff is in the bar. 

It s MY house, and it fits my needs...

So please, do the same at home. 

If your kids do their homework in the kitchen, have their office furniture in a drawer near the table, not in their room where they never work ! 

and if you do your nails at night in front of TV, have your polish near your sofa in a nice box, not stuck in the bathroom where NO sane woman would want to spend an hour, trapped behind a closed door, to do her nails seated on a cold floor...

Organize your life and your space according to what you are ! Home fashion comes long after that !

There is a saying I like

"Clever people don t look for a beautiful place, they make a place beautiful"

I have always done that,

always bought ugly places and turned them into little paradises (for me ! maybe not your taste !)

with work - and the freedom to do what I really love even if it s not 'trendy' or 'fashionable'

Here is an example of the complete make over of a house I have lived in with my son for many years in Paris suburbs, in Sevres, 

and which I have done mostly by myself :

The master bedroom looked like this when I bought it (I had a particular crush on the red ceiling !)

and with (some) work, it became this 

(the painting on the wall is a spring cherry tree with two birds... I love to paint on walls ! Try !

and if you are not too sure of yourself with painting , put nice stickers or art on it !)

the(hell's)  kitchen was like this

and with the help of Ikea (one of my best help there for years, but I can t wait to try different US sources !) and a few things found in flea market

it became this :

Seeing the kind of light and airy feeling I like in my places, you can imagine how strange it was for me to be suddenly stuck in a brown and beige - dark wood- geometrical decoration - in my trailer !

So, I decided to work on my RV decoration, and slowly but surely to make it more like my taste.

For you know what, Dear Depressed RV Decorator , there are ways to make an rv not too feminine (for I can understand your market is family AND also guys going on week ends or doing sports, and

you obviously can t go exactly for the under there design (lets say it can only be an option among other, for a few husbands and boy friends may have a problem with it  !)

(it s not from me, I pinned it in my pinterest boards

but unfortunately the source link is broken 

I can't tell you whose work this is ... but I love it !)

But, Dear Depressed RV Decorator,

there are enough styles with joy and color in the world to make better than what you have currently in mind and impose to us, 

think native, 

think mexican, 

think patchwork, 

think 60's 

etc !!!

I assure you, you can do a bit better than what you do currently.

In my next post. 

I will show you the beginning of my trailer revamp, with a few ideas for you, if you want to change a few things in your rv or trailer too.

And I will, as long as I work on it, post regulars pictures - so you can see how it is changing

Come back soon, more images to come 

And if your living room seems boring, or a little uncomfortable to you

try a few changes

just change the furniture place, take objects from one room and put them in another

Dare !!

home decorating must be FUN, and reflect what YOU are 

( and not the latest HGTV program !)