My first Powow... and a precious souvenir

I have been today to the first Pow wow of my (already quite) long life. Today in Wichita Falls (where I got because i just loved the name. and it is the experience I expected !) were held during the same afternoon the Cowboy True fair held by the Kemp Center For Art and the 6th Benefit Pow wow of the Red River Intertribal Clubs

 Was it just a coincidence that both events were on the same day ? or a way to allow visitors coming from far to see two things in the same afternoon ? or should it be read as an ancient but still existing rivalry ?  I have frankly no idea.

I am so new here I am still very superficial in my understanding on the way society works here.

 So I got first to the True Cowboy show, which was exactly the kind of art I have seen in Dallas and on my way here. Lots of paintings and sculpture , most of them of dying deers hunted by dogs or raging bull attacking horses...

The traditional cow boy art is full of the fury or survival, and quite classic in its approach. No real love at first sight for anything there. Nice, but not exactly my style (I just happen to hate the traditional occidental way to depict animals in their dying or fighting for their life moments - the hunting/taming/running-with-fear scenes we find "beautiful" in French art, English art, and well Cow Boy art too. They are not the way I like to see animals. Or humans ...)

So I left after a polite tour there to head straight to the Pow wow.
 (the curious thing being that I had no idea a Pow Wow was held in Wichita that afternoon -it s at the True Cowboy Fair that I just got an eye on a small paper announcing it, on one of the stands - without this providential sheet of information I would have missed it) :

"Pow Wow"

 I was about 25 when I heard that word for the first time. And that's exactly 25 years ago.

A friend of mine had a boy friend who bragged during a party about 'having been in the US to a Pow wow with Indians" - but curiously when I started enquiring with passion about what it was exactly, it rapidly turned out the guy had no idea... Never been to one, just stole the word from some Americans while he was there -

There was no internet then, and I was back to France after my studies in San Diego - no way for me to find what a Pow Wow was from France, you can imagine. But I remembered the word, because I had felt such a strong emotion inside when hearing it for the first time... It stayed and it waited for its time.

 It's only a few years ago, when I started to dream about getting to the south west of the US and prepared my trip to Santa Fe that I discovered, while working on Zuni art, the meaning of Pow Wow... and I started to dream about it immediately

day or night - images and music would not go...

 I have a long and deep love for native music, started quite amusingly thanks to a French TV add in the 90's that featured a few minutes of that (particularly not known in France) music. I had bought then the CD and immediately fallen for the chants and rhythms.

And I have listen that CD hundreds of times since (chants and dances of the natives americans - sacred spirit 1998 - you can find it on Itunes).
I have even written my second book mainly with this music in the background.

 So the idea to be allowed, as the French stranger that I am, to hear and see this music 'live' was just magic to me.

So, with the unexpected help of True Cowboy, I got to my first Pow Wow today...

 And this Pow wow was small, and I was tired, and I did not stay too long

-  hum, have to admit reluctantly at that point that driving my truck and trailer has taken a toll on my arms and back - I don t need to go to the gym, I swear, I am sculpting some very good muscles on the road right now ! -  so I could not stay as long as I wanted seated on the rigid chair there...

 But what an emotion to hear for the first time in real this chants, and feel the vibrations !

 You know, I have always been kind of foreign in my own country. I have fluently spoken to animals since I was a kid, I have kissed the taxidermized white wolf in my grand parents house every night before bed because I knew he would come in the night to visit me in the dark, and I have always felt more at ease with native philosophy (at least the knowledge I have of it) than with the catholic faith I am supposed to be born with.



 And native music immediate brings me in a special state - just a perfect line between Sky and Earth.

I feel grounded, and in the same time tall enough to feel the clouds and wind above.
 And I can feel the earth breath - I can feel her rhythm -

It s exactly what happened this afternoon during the only dance I was able to see - the feeling of suddenly "belonging"
even if I am French
even if I am white skinned
even if I am a redhead

 And I had to struggle to hide my emotion, for I could have burst into tears when I realized I was exactly at the place and time I was meant to be - that I was home at last, that I had found my family.

My Tengrin, my inner voice who has guided me during all these years, never losing hope and purpose, told me at that moment that I was indeed where I belong, even if the welcoming was not particularly warm from the attendants - for even if I have read the main things to respect in a Pow Wow, like standing for the entrance of the dancers or staying away from the first rows , I am still a rookie and it shows - and there have been a few not too nice looks on me that showed I was not totally taken for welcome there...

My Tebgrin told me at that emotional moment that I was not mistaken, and that I was where I was supposed to be
and that I would soon  get a sure sign of it.

There was a lottery then, to raise money for the Faith mission. I had bought a few ticket, mostly to help. Did not have any hope to win : I never win !
the last time I won something I was about ten and won a radio ... that's about all I have ever won in my whole life !

 And the "master of ceremony" started to draw numbers I only half heard because of the bad speakers and the crowd.
They gave away foldable chairs, icebox, blankets - and I was slightly dreaming, because I did not have any wait nor special interest ni the proceeding.

And then suddenly a number was called, with an unprecedented clarity, for I recognized it immediately - loud and clear

 I had won !!!

 a small jewel - a hair pin I think - in beads -

my sign was there, and my inner voice was joyful and cheering "See !"

 I went to get my prize in a relatively silent crowd - I am not absolutely sure they were as delighted as me that I won - And well, I can understand it. I figure a native in full attire arriving in the Church of Sainte Megere les Gougnaves in France (Please dont look on a French map, Sainte Megere les Gougnaves does not exist and the name will make the French laugh) and wining one of the best prices of the catholic yearly tombola : I am not sure the priest and the locals would be very friendly either... that s how the world goes -

And now I have with me this very special souvenir, this orange and red sun, that I will keep forever like a treasury :

 That sure sign I am on my path to the West and that I am where I should be...